On parenting and letting go

“kids all grown” is 8x10, made with acrylic paint, washi paper, book pages, a vintage Japanese letter and glue on cradled birch panel. It is part of my 2023 calendar, and is also available as a card reading, “you make the world a lovelier place.”

This week I am busy packing and preparing for our trip to Ecuador, including the Galápagos! My husband and I are meeting up with our son Gabriel as he completes a fascinating semester-long program in Development, Politics and Languages.

In Ecuador he has stayed with four different host families (two of them Indigenous), snorkeled in the Galápagos, bathed under a waterfall, explored the rain forest with a naturalist, helped out on a farm in the cloud forest, and made chocolate from scratch, roasting cacao pods over an open fire. Oh, and he has studied, of course! He is currently wrapping up a four-week independent study project on efforts to reintroduce native grains like quinoa and amaranth within a Quichua community.

It was hard to say goodbye to my beloved son last August—I worried about Covid, crime and car accidents, for starters. But I’m delighted that he’s having such a rich experience, and am looking forward to seeing the country through his eyes.

Really, once babyhood has passed, parenting is just a long process of letting go and trusting that you’ve taught your child the skills they need to be OK. We miss having our kids at home, but there is also great pleasure in seeing them stretch their wings—and in sharing a bit of their adventures. Here are some haiku on the empty nest stage of parenting.

driving lesson
he practices
leaving home

his absence
its own presence
childhood bedroom

her notes covered
with question marks
philosophy class

empty nest
our son’s old sweater
on the dog

semester abroad
she waves from the far side
of security

childless once more
the farthest ridge line
fades into blue

kids all grown
we train the sweet peas
up the trellis

I wish you all a happy and merry holiday season.

The above haiku first appeared in The Heron’s Nest, Frogpond, Presence, and Visiting the Wind: Haiku Society of America Members’ Anthology 2021

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Makino Studios News

Holiday sale on calendars: My 2023 mini-calendars of art and haiku are just $9.99 through midnight this coming Friday, Dec. 2 (normally $12). No code required—I just want to encourage you to order this week, before I leave town on Saturday! I will have someone filling orders while I’m gone, but shipping may be slower than usual.

Fourth printing of my book: I was down to just two copies of my award-winning book, Water and Stone: Ten Years of Art and Haiku. But thankfully, 150 more copies finally arrived yesterday! This fourth printing includes excerpts from the lovely reviews and judges’ comments.

Made in Humboldt fair: The “Made in Humboldt” event at Pierson Garden Shop in Eureka, CA runs through Friday, Dec. 24. This is the only fair where you can buy my calendars, books, prints and boxed notecards this season. There are 250 participating vendors, all local.

Free shipping: I offer free first-class shipping on US retail orders of $35 or more. Use code FREESHIP35 at checkout.

Cards: Holiday, birthday, sympathy or everyday… right now there are more than 70 Makino Studios card designs to choose from. I also have five different notecard sets, including two holiday designs (but act fast—one of them is almost sold out).

Art prints: Blake’s Books in McKinleyville and Humboldt’s Hometown Store in Ferndale both carry a selection of my matted art prints, ready for gifting. They are among the local stores that carry my books, calendars, notecards and single cards.

Holiday shipping deadline: The US Postal Service advises that for first-class packages to arrive by Dec. 25, they should be shipped by Saturday, Dec. 17.

A Thanksgiving buffet

Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you find a fun and meaningful way to celebrate the holiday, even if it’s just raising a glass with family members over Zoom. 

I wanted to let you know that Makino Studios is running a Thanksgiving sale: all my 11x14 prints are 40% off this week, until midnight this coming Monday, Nov. 30. 

Below is a Thanksgiving buffet of sorts: some samples of my holiday and landscape notecards, 2021 mini-calendars, and signed prints. Humboldt folks, you can also find my notecard sets, small prints and calendars at the Made in Humboldt Fair at Pierson Garden Shop in Eureka thru Dec. 24. 

US shipping is free on any order of $35+ with code FREESHIP35. Order no later than Thursday, Dec. 17 to be sure your package arrives by Dec. 25, 2020.

Also, at the recent Seabeck Haiku Getaway, I gave a reading of my haiku about the humor and heartache of parenting and a slide show of my new collage haiga (art with haiku). Video of my nine-minute presentation, called “Piecing It Together,” is available online through the end of November. At this Zoom link, enter passcode d604=+jS. Skip to the fourth recording by clicking on the forward symbol three times, then you can jump to my presentation at the 41:23 mark.

Thank you and be well.

warmly, Annette Makino

watercolor landscape notecard set - Northern California scenes

$20.00

sold out

2021 mini-calendar of art and haiku - Japanese-inspired collage

$12.00

40% off all 11x14 prints! Normally $45, this week only $27. Each print is signed and stamped. 20 designs. Supplies limited. Sale ends Mon., Nov. 30.

The college conundrum

“open road” is 11x14, Japanese watercolor and sumi ink on paper. It is available as a graduation card reading “time to soar” and another version reading “Happy Father’s Day.” © Annette Makino 2017

My husband Paul and I recently took a road trip through Oregon and Washington to visit potential colleges with our son Gabriel, a junior in high school. We gleaned what we could from the blur of campus tours, info sessions, and landscaped grounds dotted with blossoming cherry trees.

Gabriel talked with current students, joined the discussion in an English class, played tennis at a team practice, and tried the cafeteria food. (It’s come a long way since the mushy turkey tetrazzini of my freshman year!)

As a brilliant student and captain of his high school tennis team, he will have many options open to him. In some ways, that makes this pivotal life choice even harder. And the decision seems like a big responsibility for someone who has trouble remembering to bring his jacket home!

snow leopard
a brief sighting
of our teen

In any case, the most important aspects of a college experience aren’t quantifiable, like the student-to-faculty ratio or the number of Nobel Prize-winning professors. Rather, they are intangibles such as who you become over those four years, the lasting friendships you make and the foundation you build for the rest of your life. 

View from the trenches: a campus tour of Reed College in Portland.

As a curious nine-year old, Gabriel introduced me to the possibility of infinite parallel universes. (See my 2012 blog post, Parallel Universes.) So in this world he will eventually choose one school, but I like to think that all the other options are playing out in other universes, each with infinite variations. Somehow that takes the pressure off!

And then there is the experience of our daughter Maya. After touring a dozen colleges in five states, applying to eight, negotiating financial aid and scholarship offers, and much noisy agonizing, she finally settled on the University of Puget Sound in Tacoma, Washington. We breathed a collective sigh of relief that the long search was over. Or so we thought . . .

ring around the moon—
from two states away
the catch in her voice

In a plot twist, after two extremely wet and cold winters there, last summer Maya opted to transfer to Humboldt State and live at home. Though HSU may not have the cachet of a private school, it is strong in her chosen field of art education. And here she enjoys a semi-private apartment, home-cooked meals, and the stunning natural beauty of Humboldt County. 

As surprised as we all were by this turn of events, she is much happier here. We love having our lively and affectionate daughter around again—and her tuition is a fraction of what we were paying!

It goes to show that you can do tons of research and make the best decision with the information you have, but no one can predict how life will unspool. I take comfort in the fact that Gabriel is a wise and perceptive young man, so I know he will make sound choices for college and beyond.

As for me, my Stanford degree in international relations prepared me well for my first career in international development. For my unexpected second career as a working artist, not so much. The five(!) economics classes I endured were chock full of theory. But other than that bit about supply and demand, they were useless on the topic of running a small business! 

Who knows what discoveries await my children in college, and which universes they will go on to explore? Although part of me would like to keep them home forever, I’m also excited to see how their futures will unfold.

open road
how the red-tailed hawk
embraces the wind

It was still winter at Crater Lake, Oregon, where we stopped on our college road trip.

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Makino Studios

New Cards for Moms, Dads and Grads: I have designed six new cards for Mother’s Day (May 13), Father’s Day (June 17) and graduation, plus birthdays. You can find them all in the Cards section.

ukiaHaiku Festival: The ukiaHaiku Festival takes place this Sunday, April 29, at the Civic Center in Ukiah, California. Awards at 2 p.m., reception and refreshments at 3 p.m. I will read a winning haiku and have cards and prints for sale.

Open Studios: I will join artists Tina Gleave, Jennifer Rand, Amy Fowler and Araya Shon at the Samoa Women’s Club in Samoa, California for Weekend 1 of North Coast Open Studios, June 2-3. This is the 20th anniversary of this fun, free annual event, when more than a hundred Humboldt County artists open their studios to the public.

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“snow leopard” was first published in Modern Haiku, Issue 49.1, Winter-Spring 2018

“ring around the moon” was first published in Modern Haiku, Issue 48.2, Summer 2017

The path unfolds

“leaf light” is based on a 19×12 original, painted with sumi ink and Japanese watercolors on rice paper. It is available as a signed 11×14 digital print or a card. © 2013 Annette Makino

Our daughter started college this fall. Before it happened, I couldn’t fully understand how much lies behind that simple statement—hope and excitement for your child’s future mixed with worry and sadness at their leaving.

For weeks after we dropped Maya off, the smallest thing could bring me to tears, like measuring oatmeal for three instead of four. My husband, son and I all miss her effervescent spirit, affectionate nature and hilarious observations. She has left our home quieter, tidier, and less exciting. It seems unfair that after eighteen years of the hard work of parenting, now that she’s pretty much perfect, she’s gone!

But happily, I got to visit Maya at the University of Puget Sound in Tacoma, Washington earlier this month. (In a sweet bit of synchronicity, my freshman roommate at Stanford lives ten blocks from campus, so I also got to visit this dear friend.) To my delight, Maya decided to accompany me to the Seabeck Haiku Getaway.

geese arrowing south
part of my heart
in the passenger seat

For four days along beautiful Hood Canal, fifty poets talked, wrote and shared haiku, and I enjoyed giving a presentation on the process of creating my haiga (haiku art). As ever, it was a fun and inspiring retreat, and there was even time to hike through the woods and soak up sunlight by the lagoon.

awakened
by the breakfast bell—
sun through cedars

Haiku ahead! Annette Makino and daughter Maya at the Seabeck Haiku Getaway, October 2015.

Between studying and writing essays for school, Maya penned some fine haiku of her own, like this one:

autumn clouds
all the people
I could be

And at the end of the long weekend, two of my poems, less than an hour old, won prizes in the “kukai” haiku contest. This one, written while lying under a big maple tree with Maya, is a gentle message to myself in this time of transition:

a gust of wind
swirls through the maple—
the art of letting go

Back in 2013, when I returned from Seabeck, I created the “leaf light” piece above based on a forest trail there. Thinking about Maya’s leaving, it is a reminder to have faith in times of loss, change and uncertainty—and to keep walking.

leaf light
tree by tree
the path unfolds

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Makino Studios News

2016 calendar: A wall calendar of art and haiku, featuring twelve of my paintings of landscapes, animals and flowers, is now on sale in stores and online. From ocean waves to oak-covered hills, this mini-calendar provides a monthly dose of Zen wisdom.

New cards: I’ve posted eleven new and updated card designs to the MakinoStudios Etsy shop and they are also available in stores.

Made in Humboldt: More than 50 card designs, plus prints and calendars will be offered at this holiday sale at the Garden Shop of Pierson Building Center in Eureka, CA Nov. 17-Dec. 24.

Holiday Craft Market: Makino Studios will have a booth at this fair in the Arcata Community Center in Arcata, CA on Saturday and Sunday, Dec. 12-13.

Connecting: I appreciate the kind responses to my last post, “One brushstroke at a time.” You can also get news, art and haiku on my Makino Studios Facebook page and my Twitter feed.

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"leaf light" has been published in The Sacred in Contemporary Haiku, edited by Robert Epstein, 2014; and in the 2013 Seabeck anthology, A Warm Welcome (it is also used for the cover art).